The Regular

This is me being weirdly fastidious but c'mon.  This girl is paying for her sex toy and right before she hands me her card, she uses it to itch her nose. What? Have some decorum. Have some social grace, I don't need your facial oils all over my machine lady. Gross.

So, regulars. I've seen plenty across the board at my various jobs. Some think they're hot shit and some are delightful. At STORE (yeah we have a name, this is so I don't ruffle feathers) we have this one guy. In keeping with my anonymity policy I will leave him unnamed. He will be That One Guy.  Tog for short.  Tog comes in erratically. Sometimes we'll see him several times a week sometimes once a month.

Tog works at the local mall as a janitor and seems several nickels short of a dollar. He comes in often in his uniform, but if its a day off, he comes in in a wolf moon sweatshirt. Not ironically. His visits vary in length, and he only buys DVDs. My first few weeks he purchased several, but he very seldom buys.

We have a deal where when you buy two movies, the third is for free. If Tog doesn't feel there's three worth getting, he'll let us pick one for the employee library. It is unwise to ask Tog his opinion on our selection (his preferences are for 80's hair and 80's porn), though he often tells us loudly. There are several Togisms, here are a few.
"You may as well mark them all clearance right now!"
"This stuff is all garbage, who even buys it?"
On the subject of us cutting back on DVDs: "You guys are gonna go out of business within a week."

It is unwise in the extreme to contradict Tog. He goes into repeat mode at higher volume for long periods of time. Like the many who lack social graces, he has no concept of what is said for politeness' sake, or what people's faces look like when they would rather be shot in the head rather than listen to him prophesy our doom one more time.

Trying to reason with Tog is circular and fruitless.
"We actually sell more in toys than we do in movies. "
This will earn a grunt, a head shake, and a Togism.
Agreeing is another tactic.
"Yeah man, it's crazy but corporate never listens to us. "
This gets you away only slightly faster and overall the best results with Tog are achieved when we greet him by name at the door, nod to any comments but say nothing, and wave goodbye.

We just cleared out all the DVD's besides instructional and  full length feature films. I am quite looking forward to his reaction and subsequent vacating of our premises.