This girl comes in. She's gaunt, with long dirty blonde hair, and baggy clothes. She heads straight to the ten dollar toys, which most younger people do. Still, I came over and asked if she needed help. Unlike most people who are typically pretty shy, she was downright gregarious. She regaled me with stories about how she didn't really need a new vibrator, how the one she had got her off in under a minute. I backed off a little, trying to disengage from the conversation. Undeterred, she presses her advantage, and pulls out this little number.
"My mom and I actually share toys." I stare at her. Normally I have no judgement at work, people do things with their bodies and that's their own deal. "Most people would think that's gross, huh?" I grimaced and shrugged and asked "Do you at least wash them?" She hastened to assure me they cleaned them with alcohol. (Note: Don't clean your toys in alcohol!) I suggested toy cleaner or body wash instead while thinking privately that nuclear-power bleach wouldn't be enough to remove the taint of sharing a sex toy with your own mother.
Some of the things I hear are from coworkers rather than customers though. Generally we have no boundaries. This is one of my favorites. On the topic of shaven or unshaven, my assistant manager said that it's impossible for her to keep pubic hair. "Why? Is there something wrong with yours?" She snorts, "Yeah, it grows straight!" I had that mental image for a moment. "What like... when it's grown out, it's really just straight?" "Yeah," she said, "and it's sparse, it looks like a balding guy with a bad comb over."
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| When you pull her pants down it's just a good-natured balding man. |
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