Just-Eighteeners

There's a precedence for people turning 18 and coming in just to come in. Often they're in groups, and rowdiness levels vary. Mostly they're super annoying, laughing and playing with products that people really use. Sometimes they're fine, they come in, giggle a little, buy something and go. Those ones aren't bad. But the groups of young guys can be awful.

In this dramatic re-imagining, they are high-fiving their malevolence.

We always ID them, and a lot of times I'll try to remember the dominant males name in case I need to chastise them later. It reminds them that you know who they are, and that they're not anonymous. Yesterday we had a group of monsters come in. There were four of five, all had just turned eighteen, and they were obnoxious from moment one. All of them were bro'd out. A coworker IDed them and they cracked jokes about being legal for her, about having fake IDs, super annoying little stuff. We gave them cold stares as they moved loudly through the store. The worst is when they're mocking something that someone came in to buy seriously, often anal toys. In this case, they went over into the gag gift sections. Within moments several items hit the floor, prongs flew everywhere, shirts were dragged off hangers, and then they moved away into the toy side without any attempts to pick anything up. They proceeded quickly to our toy tester table where people can feel a product and the vibration settings before buying. They were shoving toys in each others faces as I picked up the gag section mess, and I heard them hooting over how the toys smelled. Grinding my teeth I headed back over to rejoin my two coworkers and the new manager.

Note the guy in the back, just pushing things off a shelf

 Me and the girl who carded them griped about things we wish we could say to assholes, and the third girl on shift saw them pulling a dildo out of its package to brandish as a sword. She set off quickly to tell them off. She's super polite and hates being mean, so she kept it to: "We do ask that nothing is removed from the packaging. If you want to see something let us know and we'll open it for you at the counter." Unchastened, they browsed.
They swung by the counter and I overheard one say, "Sick dude, was that you?" I immediately smelled the rankest fart of my life and swept over to my coworkers telling them to back away as the guy ran laughing into male toys.We have a particular kind of male masturbator that is a one time use. It comes with lube inside it already, and people frequently open them and subsequently ruin them, since we can't sell them opened. I hear the crinkle and turn to see one of the boys pulling the bottom off it. I came up and gave them the evil eye. They towered over me like giants and cowered before my wrath. "Opening products isn't allowed. You just ruined that, we can't sell it once it's been opened. Can I have it?"

They hand it over like kids who've just been smacked with a wooden spoon and I approach the new manager with the opened sleeve. "Hey, they just ruined this." The girl who had already told them not to open things pipes in that they had received a warning not to open things not two minutes previously. The manager considered this for a moment, and we waited with bated breath. She's new enough that we weren't sure her policy would be to kick them out. She nodded and took the cup, bearing down on them like a ship under full sail.
"Guys, you were just told explicitly moments ago not to open anything, and then you broke this. We can't sell it now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." One petulantly asked if he could still buy something and she told him no. Sullen and whining, they left loudly exclaiming that they would head up the road to our competitors. They were unaware then, that the competing store had closed down last week and they had just blown it at the only local shop. We hid our smirks until they left then burst out laughing, imagining their disappointment when they arrived at the closed business.