James T. Kirk

So, STORE is more of a boutique sort of adult store. We expect confidences, but not all of them are welcome. One of my least favorite things to hear is about infidelity  It just bums me out, if you're with someone you don't love anymore, leave? But I've had a few couples come in with only one wedding ring between them. It fills me with sighs, but I normally don't notice. Sometimes the girl will make some catty remark like, "I hope your wife doesn't find out." And in return she will receive a look in which my eyes are bottomless pits of daggers that I am glaring straight at her empathy.

Some months back, I had a guy come in. He said he was looking for a toy for his girlfriend. Something about the way he said it made me suspicious that he was cheating. I glanced at his hands but no ring. I gave him a colder shoulder until he finally managed to express to me that I had misunderstood. He was wooing a woman, and was very new and awkward about it. He asked about pheromones and I helped him much more happily after realizing it had been a misunderstanding. As I'm handing him his purchase he looks at me and gives a heavy sigh. "I thought dating would be easier, but I'm realizing I spent my time learning all the wrong things. I always thought girls would be more impressed by a guy who knew Captain Kirk's middle name."
I tilted my head with a little frown and he was about to utter a disclaimer when I cut in, "Tiberius is a freakin' sweet middle name, if she can't appreciate that then she's probably just not the one." He left his mouth slightly open, and looked like he wanted to hug me. I gave him a grin and a thumbs up, wishing him luck on his date.

Live long and prosper buddy