And I KNOW it's the Devil

     The job I had before STORE was at MOD pizza. It was a pretty cool place to work except for the management; we made personal pizzas like it was Subway, where you customize it, but they were all the same size and price regardless of toppings. For whatever reason, most of my co-workers were either felons, or on work release from the prison. Not actually as scary as it sounds though, because almost unanimously they were born again Christian.
     Don't get me wrong, I think religion is a tool when used metaphorically to help shape the way people live their lives. But because I think that, it seems like a really personal thing, and definitely not something that's work appropriate. But these people did not give a flying fuck who knew how devout they were, and it was the worst kind where they took everything literally.
     So I'm folding pizza boxes with Cindy and Corey. Corey is this stout guy, not a lot taller than me but big and dense, bald, and super quiet. He had a tendency to stutter when he was upset, so he didn't talk much and radiated a "fuck off" vibe. Cindy is this super tall black woman, who's kind of a bitch. We didn't get along at all, mostly because she was so consistently rude to me. Whatever. Anyway.

     We're all folding these boxes and not talking and out of no where Cindy goes, "I really wanna go to bible school." I tilt my head down to hide my expression and decide not to touch it. Corey bites though. "Why, Cindy?" She's silent for a moment then says, "Well cause I believe what's in the Bible. I just don't know it all. Every time I try to sit down and read it, I get sleepy," and here she paused and sighed, and looked up and said matter-of-factly, "and I know it's the Devil."

And I KNOW i'ts the Devil

     I am intently looking at my boxes and trying to keep a straight face, because wow, just wow. I'm used to the idea of the Morning-star, Lucifer, the most beautiful being in existence, who rebelled for the benefit of humanity, but here he is, reduced to the Devil, a red horned demon mucking up people's concentration when they try to read the Bible. So I say nothing.
     But Corey evidently agrees, "Y-y-yeah, it is the Devil." I must have made a sound because he looked at me sharply. "D-d-don't you believe in God, Reggie?"
    I shrugged, "Even if I did, I wouldn't be discussing it at work."
     "Cause it's t-t-true! If you try to read the B-b-bible on unsanctified ground, the D-d-devil tries to confuse you."

     I mumbled some excuse to leave and fled to the back room to laugh hysterically. I thought it over and approached Corey a week later.
     "Hey Corey, I have a question, and I don't want to offend you, I'm genuinely curious as so your answer."
    He glared and said to just ask.. "Okay, if Cindy just doesn't read a lot, and gets sleepy when she reads anything, is it always the Devil?"
    "Shut the fuck up, Reggie!"
     I wish he'd answered me though. I really just wanted to know.