I had an interaction that upset me last night. A middle aged black man came in and started interrogating me.
Man: (Walks in) Oh, are these religious oils?
Me: Uh, nope. Do they sell anointing oils anywhere?
Man: (Gets excited) You know what anointing oils are?
Me: (Shrug) They’ve turned up in stuff I’ve read
Man: Are you spiritual?
Me: (Shrug)
Man: Do you believe in God?
Me: Regardless of what I think, I wouldn’t discuss it in my workplace.
Man: Oh really? Why not?
Me: The owners of the shop are religious and don’t bring it into work. I respect that and don’t either.
Man: What religion are they?
Me: They’re Mormon.
Man: (Slyly) And they don’t bring it into work at all?
Me: No, you just have to look at their hiring choices to know that.
Man: How so?
Me: (Pause) Well, I’m a lesbian, and they don’t agree with that religiously.
Man: You’re a lesbian?
Me: (Already regretting giving him more of an in) Yes
Man: When did you become a lesbian?
Me: Excuse me?
Man: You didn’t choose, you were just born like that?
Me: Yes
Man: If you could choose, would you be heterosexual?
Me: No, I am the way I am, I like myself. It’d be nice not to be discriminated against, though
Man: Do you think you’ve been discriminated against?
Me: …Obviously, that’s why I said that
Man: How so?
Me: Well for starters I’ve had people harass me and my girlfriend on the street.
Man: How do your parents feel?
Me: (Shrug) My parents love me. It didn’t need to be a discussion between us. Some of my friends got kicked out though
Man: Can you understand the shame that would make their parents abandon them?
Me: No, not at all. Most major religions are about love and acceptance. I don’t understand why people who believe in those things would choose not to love their children.
Man: What about transgender? Do you feel them altering their bodies is an affront to God?
Me: I’m not discussing religion. I have transgender friends and I feel like if your own body is alienating you and feels wrong you’re well within your rights to change it.
Man: Did you hear about the suicide of that transgender person in Washington?
Me: No, but it’s very common in that bracket of people. When everyone is set to make their lives miserable it’s not surprising.
Man: Do you feel like the gender you were assigned? Many lesbians switch genders so they’re straight
Me: I feel gender neutral, but since I’m in this body already I see no reason to try to change myself
Man: How do you feel about business owners refusing service to gay people?
Me: That’s discrimination.
Man: So you believe in the separation of church and state
Me: Absolutely
Man: Do you think gays should get married?
Me: There’s absolutely no reason not to allow them to marry other than religious discrimination. It’s like the laws they tried to pass saying business owners could refuse service to homosexuals. It’s basically the Jim Crowe laws aimed at gay people.
Me: Uh, nope. Do they sell anointing oils anywhere?
Man: (Gets excited) You know what anointing oils are?
Me: (Shrug) They’ve turned up in stuff I’ve read
Man: Are you spiritual?
Me: (Shrug)
Man: Do you believe in God?
Me: Regardless of what I think, I wouldn’t discuss it in my workplace.
Man: Oh really? Why not?
Me: The owners of the shop are religious and don’t bring it into work. I respect that and don’t either.
Man: What religion are they?
Me: They’re Mormon.
Man: (Slyly) And they don’t bring it into work at all?
Me: No, you just have to look at their hiring choices to know that.
Man: How so?
Me: (Pause) Well, I’m a lesbian, and they don’t agree with that religiously.
Man: You’re a lesbian?
Me: (Already regretting giving him more of an in) Yes
Man: When did you become a lesbian?
Me: Excuse me?
Man: You didn’t choose, you were just born like that?
Me: Yes
Man: If you could choose, would you be heterosexual?
Me: No, I am the way I am, I like myself. It’d be nice not to be discriminated against, though
Man: Do you think you’ve been discriminated against?
Me: …Obviously, that’s why I said that
Man: How so?
Me: Well for starters I’ve had people harass me and my girlfriend on the street.
Man: How do your parents feel?
Me: (Shrug) My parents love me. It didn’t need to be a discussion between us. Some of my friends got kicked out though
Man: Can you understand the shame that would make their parents abandon them?
Me: No, not at all. Most major religions are about love and acceptance. I don’t understand why people who believe in those things would choose not to love their children.
Man: What about transgender? Do you feel them altering their bodies is an affront to God?
Me: I’m not discussing religion. I have transgender friends and I feel like if your own body is alienating you and feels wrong you’re well within your rights to change it.
Man: Did you hear about the suicide of that transgender person in Washington?
Me: No, but it’s very common in that bracket of people. When everyone is set to make their lives miserable it’s not surprising.
Man: Do you feel like the gender you were assigned? Many lesbians switch genders so they’re straight
Me: I feel gender neutral, but since I’m in this body already I see no reason to try to change myself
Man: How do you feel about business owners refusing service to gay people?
Me: That’s discrimination.
Man: So you believe in the separation of church and state
Me: Absolutely
Man: Do you think gays should get married?
Me: There’s absolutely no reason not to allow them to marry other than religious discrimination. It’s like the laws they tried to pass saying business owners could refuse service to homosexuals. It’s basically the Jim Crowe laws aimed at gay people.
That’s an abbreviation of the interview. He was in the shop for about half an hour. He wasn’t pretending to shop, he was just harassing me. I wanted to shake him and ask if he could choose not to be black, would he? I saw him walk into the store across the street and I looked for him after work because I’m not allowed to scream at people on shift but I would badly have liked to. No luck.
